


Just You

by RickGrimes



Category: Walking Dead, Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Cheesy, Discussion of feelings, Father-Son Relationship, Father/Son Incest, Feelings, Hand Jobs, M/M, Poor Vulnerable Sad Carl, Post-Terminus, Rape Aftermath, Underage Sex, the bebe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:24:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RickGrimes/pseuds/RickGrimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Carl is obviously jumpy and nervous around the men post-Terminus because of what happened to him. Abraham gets mad about it and Rick overhears. He talks about it with Carl later and it's clear that there are feelings between the Grimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous Asker](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anonymous+Asker).



> The culprit from "Unknown" was Rick :] Let me know if you want more explanation.

In such a close proximity, it was difficult not to brush against one another. Every unintentional touch elicited a flinch from Carl. It didn’t matter that he trusted Daryl and Glenn, and even Bob and the newcomers Abraham and Eugene. The men made him feel uneasy. Once in a while a particularly loud laugh or comment would burst out of one of them, and he’d excuse himself to the back of the traincar. He wasn’t intimidated by the women. Not because they weren’t capable or strong, but because they hadn’t done him any harm. The males were bursting with testosterone—all of them itching to be released from the traincar. All of them were restless and on the verge of violence, and it didn’t make it any easier for Carl to stomach being around them.

“We’ll get outta here,” Daryl said to Carl, clapping him on the shoulder.

It didn’t make sense, especially since Daryl had been there to fight against the group who attacked them, but Carl flinched under the man’s grasp. He met his dad’s sympathetic eye and lowered his head. He was embarrassed about what happened to him. He was ashamed at his weakness. He was especially disgusted with how he was handling the situation now. His dad was the only one he could stand to be around--out of the males, at least. He found solace in Michonne as well, wanting to keep his distance from Rick. No matter how much he wanted the man’s comfort, he couldn’t get over how he felt about himself. He didn’t think he deserved to have Rick care for him since he was more of a monster than a son. He knew his dad wanted to protect him, but he should’ve been able to fight harder—do it himself. He was a poor excuse for a son. Carl felt he was being pathetic. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help his reactions to the males within their confined space. He didn’t want to be touched.

“Whatever,” Daryl muttered under his breath, when Carl walked away from him. He didn’t have the patience to deal with weakness. Carl needed to get his head out of his ass and help them figure out a plan.

Another time, Glenn went to put his arm around Maggie and Carl was too close. The gesture made him raise his hands in defense. He hoped nobody had noticed, but the mixture of pitying and confused looks told him that everyone had. It didn’t go unnoticed that when he occupied a corner of the space, his dad put himself inconspicuously between him and the rest of the group. Rick knew that Carl needed to get out of the trap more than any of them or he’d go crazy. He felt immense guilt for what had happened, but all he could do for Carl was make sure people left him alone. He couldn’t help the satisfaction he got from being allowed to be near his son. Carl wasn’t scared of him, and he wasn’t ashamed that it pleased him. He understood Carl’s fear, and instead of it making him ashamed of Carl, it confirmed that Carl was feeling the right emotions—not losing himself. It made his fatherly instinct to protect that much stronger.

Once they escaped Terminus, Carl didn’t have to be so close to any of them, but his fears didn’t ease. Every time any of the guys got too close to him, he gripped his gun tighter, or dug his nails into his palm. It was getting worse.

They were far from the tracks by now; they’d fled into the forest. It wasn’t easy trekking through the woods, but it kept them hidden. Carl had taken to travelling dangerously far from the group whenever he had to pee. He didn’t want to be vulnerable.

Carl faced a tree, finishing up his bathroom break when the leaves rustled behind him, signalling someone’s approach. He yanked up his pants, covering himself back up before turning to identify the guest. He aimed his gun at the man in defense. It was Abraham. He lowered his gun after a few long seconds and ran before the man could even say anything.

It was Rick who heard Abraham later, complaining to Rosita.

“I know that kid almost got it up the ass, but he’s acting like a little bitch. Around me and all the guys. He flinches every time we even breathe. He’s gotta get over it. We’re not rapists. I don’t plan on touching him,” Abraham ranted, ending his monologue with a sigh.

Rick didn’t wait to hear what Rosita had to say. He was disgusted enough.

 

“Hey, Carl?” Rick called quietly, peeking around the trees that concealed the boy. They’d chosen a partially clear area of the woods to stop for the night. They were all relatively close together, but far enough to have a bit of privacy.

Carl looked up at his father and upturned his lips politely in greeting.

“I wanted to talk to you about somethin’,” Rick started hesitantly.

Carl’s stomach flipped. He had no idea what words were going to leave his father’s mouth. Would they make him feel better or worse? Was this an intervention or a casual conversation?

“I overheard Abraham talkin’ about you,” he paused, “and the way things have been goin’.”

Carl was grateful that his dad hadn’t said anything like “the way you’ve been acting” or “you’re a coward”. Just because he didn’t say it didn’t mean he didn’t think it though. Carl waited for his dad’s next words.

Rick looked pointedly at the boy and then away, not wanting to cause discomfort. “Are you okay? I know it’s not somethin’ easy to get over, and I don’t expect you to. I’m just worried, Carl.”

Carl adjusted his position on the log they occupied. He clenched his hands together, and shook them out, sighing. “I know I’ve been acting like a coward. I know Daryl or Glenn or any of them aren’t going to do anything to me,” Carl admitted, weighing his next words, “I just can’t help it when I get scared. I don’t want them to hurt me.”

Rick smiled at his son, “I’m sorry, Carl. I’ll do anything I can to make it easier for you. I don’t wanna tell you how to feel, but you should try to work on controlling your fear, at least. I know you can’t help bein’ scared and I don’t blame you, but maybe try and hide it. Don’t show weakness. It’ll keep the others off your back and actually make you feel better. Fake it till you make it, and all that,” Rick laughed, trying to conceal his discomfort. He felt like an asshole trying to tell his son to buck up after something so terrible had happened. He didn’t have the right to force Carl to get over something, but he didn’t want to see his son scared and victimized. He wanted Carl to be strong and at least kind of happy. Rick didn’t want Carl to be ashamed of himself.

Carl sighed once more. He knew what his dad was trying to say and appreciated the effort, but it wasn’t that easy. He was lucky Rick wasn’t being harsh, telling him to grow up and stop being a pussy. That’s what he was telling himself. His dad seemed to be understanding. Carl wondered if it was from his time as a cop, or if it was who his dad was.

“I’ll try, Dad. I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get over it. I don’t mean to be this way,” Carl said. He wanted to act tough, but now wasn’t the time. He should accept his dad’s help and wisdom when he had the chance. He might never get the opportunity to open up like this again.

“Don’t apologize, Carl. I’m the one who should be sorry. It’s my fault any of this happened in the first place.”

Carl shook his head, “You’re the only one I feel safe around. I only know you won’t hurt me. Everyone else is dangerous.”

“You’re right. I would never hurt you,” Rick agreed. He could just imagine the dumb look on his face. How could he make such promises to Carl? He would never mean to hurt his boy, but it was inevitable. Whether he died and broke Carl's heart, or whether he wasn't there in time to save Carl from something...eventually Rick would cause hurt. Even still, he knew what his words really meant. A promise never to intentionally hurt Carl. He pictured that night. He could practically taste blood on his lips and hear the ringing in his ears. He shuddered at the thought of anyone causing Carl pain. It was mental and physical pain that afflicted Carl, even though the man hadn't gotten all the way. Rick could just imagine what it would've been like if the man had finished what he started. His sympathy and regret took a possessive turn. He didn't want anyone to touch Carl again. For any reason. What was that supposed to mean?

Carl seemed to be on the same page as his father when he broke the silence. Both of them were thinking of the event that prompted this conversation.

“When it was happening, the only thing I could think of was you having to see me like that. Used and disgusting. Helpless. I didn’t want you to have a weak son,” Carl admitted in a whisper.

Rick drew his eyebrows together in confusion and pain. He couldn’t believe Carl felt that way. Disvalued himself that much.

“I could never think of you like that, no matter what happened,” Rick countered, putting an arm around Carl. He retraced his thoughts, trying to make sense of his feelings. He realized that it didn't matter who else wanted Carl or what Carl did, as long as it was what Carl wanted. All he wanted for his boy was the ability to have a choice. He wondered what Carl would choose. Could he choose Rick?

When his dad wrapped an arm around him, Carl didn’t even hesitate to lean in. He wanted his father to envelope him and keep him safe. Rick was the only man he could be around effortlessly. He missed that feeling. Everyone else inspired unease and nervousness in him. Rick kept him calm, despite being the most dangerous one in the group. Carl trusted his father to be, well, trustworthy.

“Can I tell you something?” Carl asked quietly, his arms still tightly wrapped around his dad.

“Course.”

“The only thing I didn’t like about what happened was the context. I wasn’t disgusted with the idea of a man or anything. I just didn’t want to be forced. I thought about it before.”

Rick tightened his grip in the boy unthinkingly. He wondered if he was understanding this right. He was pleased that his direction of thought matched Carl's. He wanted Carl to have a choice, and that's all Carl wanted. Rick was already giving Carl what he needed.

“Carl?”

“I wanted to do it. Only if I felt safe,” Carl continued, finding it easier to admit things once he kept going with the honesty.

Rick couldn’t help but think of Carl’s previous words. “You’re the only one I feel safe around.” He could make Carl feel safe. Carl liked having him around. In what way?

The man moved his hands up to cradle the back of Carl’s head, using Carl’s openness to his fatherly advantage. Carl moved closer to Rick.

“You make me feel safe,” Carl said. “I trust you.”

Rick ghosted his lips across Carl’s neck, testing. Carl’s only reaction was to move his head up to give Rick better access.

“I can have you?” Rick questioned. "You choose me?"

Carl nodded, “I don’t want to be scared anymore. You're the only one who can give that to me.”

Rick rested his head on Carl’s shoulder. 

"I'll make you feel good. Safe. That's it for now." Rick knew that this was a sketchy situation. He wasn't trying to use Carl's current fragility to manipulate him or get what he wanted. Rick was just trying to be there for his son. Give Carl what he was asking for. He wasn't going to use the boy and leave him broken, trying to sort out his scattered pieces of sanity. This wasn't about Rick, but what Rick could do for his son.

Rick didn't want to go too far with Carl because it wasn't a good idea to move too fast, but he could do enough to help Carl's fear lighten.

Carl was eager for his dad to begin the actions that complemented his promise. He wanted to feel good. He knew his father was only doing anything at all because he asked. Rick would always give him a choice when he needed one.

The boy gasped when Rick placed his hand on his zipper. Rick followed the movement with a kiss. He didn't push too forcefully against Carl's mouth, wanting the boy to close the distance and advance at his own pace. Carl wasn't lying about feeling safe, judging by the way he pressed his tongue to his dad's lips, seeking entrance. He lifted his hips up when Rick finally undid his zipper.

Carl couldn't explain the overwhelming emotions flowing through him and threatening to overflow. He pulled his mouth away from Rick's and rested his head on the man's shoulder, trying to wrap his mind around the feeling of his father's hand around his dick. Rick stroked Carl slowly, keeping one arm wrapped around the boy's waist, and the other around his hard length. He heard Carl's sobs, but worked the boy through it, knowing that he would stop him if it became too much. Carl needed to work through this.

Rick kept going, hugging Carl closer and speeding up the motions of his hand. The boy kept his head down and his hands clung to Rick's shirt, needing an outlet for his emotions.

The man was encouraged by the needy gasps Carl was emitting, whispering "Dad", begging him to continue.

The boy came with a choked off moan, spilling into Rick's hand. Rick shuddered at the nails Carl pressed into his skin. He wiped Carl's come off on the underbrush, and zipped the boy back up.

Rick held Carl's face with both hands and pulled him forward so their foreheads touched. "Why were you crying?"

"Is that what it feels like?" Carl asked, not bothering to hide the tears drying on his face. He ignored the question, knowing that his dad would have the answer soon enough. He was crying because he had been able to forget his fear completely. Rick gave him everything he wanted. His dad meant everything to him, and the intensity of that realization was shocking enough to inspire tears.

"What?" Rick asked, not quite sure what Carl meant. He was happy the boy had stopped crying, but the end of tears didn't mean the problem was solved.

"Being with someone you love," Carl muttered with a blush. He was embarrassed over the mushiness, but he wasn't finished being open with his dad yet.

Rick kissed Carl's forehead and answered him, "Yes."

**Author's Note:**

> The culprit from "Unknown" was Rick :] Let me know if you want more explanation.


End file.
